Food Review: Bareburger

Bareburger Austin Street


Ever since I’ve started working out, I give myself ONE cheat day a week. That cheat day is when I go over Brad’s house and we eat out/order in. We have our usual places, but this time, we decided to try something different. After scouring the list of places that deliver, Brad chose Bareburger. What was special about Bareburger is that they offer some  “exotic meats” on their menu like Ostrich, wild boar, elk and bison, along with the regulars chicken, beef and a couple of vegetarian options in organic form. I’d always wanted to try Ostrich, but something in me said to try the buttermilk chicken sandwich and a milkshake and Brad ordered a burger and some fries for the both of us.  I will say, I took it as a good sign that,  Bareburger called ahead of time to make sure that they had our correct address and when the food finally arrived, I saw that everything was in a container made of recycled paper– IMPRESSIVE.

Unfortunately, that’s pretty much where the smooth ride ended.

Bareburger Fries

The moment I opened my fries, I expected them to be more crunchy– they were not. In fact, they were so greasy and limp,  Brad said, “I’ve had crispier fries at McDonald’s”. Yeah that bad. However,  Bareburger had this MAGNIFI-TASTIC  habanero chipotle mayo sauce that I dipped the fries in and made them taste really delicious. I didn’t eat all of my fries, but I ate more than what I would have without that ridiculously delicious sauce. The portion of fries was pretty huge, so I will give them credit for that, but I just wish the fries were less greasy and more crisp. I wouldn’t have felt like I was eating food from the school cafeteria.


Bareburger Buttermilk Chicken Sandwich and Beef Burger

For BOTH sandwiches– the bacon was under cooked. Not one slice was crispy like how bacon is supposed to be. I wanted to hear the crunch of the bacon when I bit in, however, it  had the consistency of deli meat. Don’t get me wrong, I love some good deli meat, but there’s a time in a place and that time and place is when I actually order some deli meat, not when I order a fancy sounding fried chicken sandwich.  Both of our meats weren’t seasoned well, IF AT ALL.  Just BLAND. BLAND, BLAND, BLAND.  My chicken was burnt and I poured on a different sauce (not the french fry dip), resembling BBQ sauce that Bareburger sent us to try and salvage what respect I might possibly have left for this sandwich. I bit into it and it was like someone literally made BUTT SAUCE. Sauce that taste like butt (I later found out that it’s curry ketchup sauce but it’ll forever be known as butt sauce in my books).  I had to force myself to eat what I could, because I felt bad that money was spent on this lackluster meal. Brad didn’t finish his sandwich either and he LOVES beef, so if he doesn’t finish your burger, then you have a serious problem on your hands.


The Bareburger Milkshake

If I had invented this milkshake, I am 150% sure that it really WOULD bring all the boys to the yard. It was AMAZINGGGGG! Words could not express how tasty and perfectly thick this milkshake was  and it was plain vanilla. It was so good that I had to offer a taste to Brad because it was too good to NOT share the joy that is a Bareburger Milkshake. It’s disappointing when a milkshake is the highlight of your meal.

Oh yeah, and on top of that, these fuckers didn’t give us any eating utensils! May I have a fork for my fries? If not, may I at least have a straw for my milkshake? GOT DAMN!


Overall: if you want a milkshake that will make your soul float out from your body– Bareburger is that place. I won’t bother trying the exotic meats, since well…. if you can’t cook chicken and a burger correctly, I doubt very seriously, that you know how to handle ostrich and elk, which I hear can turn tough pretty quickly if you’re not careful




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