The Well-Rounded Outcast
One Personality Disorder to Rule Them All

Here is a list of freedoms that black people STILL have to fight for January 20, 2014

-The freedom to not walk into a store without feeling like all eyes are on us and not be followed around automatically based on my color.

-The freedom to not be asked “Why do black people do this?” in a serious context, as if black folks are a monolithic race and every black person knows why every other black person does something. Repeat with me “We are individuals…”

-We cannot talk about my own history, without someone commenting “What about my people?” or “Get Over it”.

-To be able to speak perfect English without hearing “You speak so well…” What were you expecting?

- To be able to call out racism, without being called overly sensitive. Now pointing out racism, makes us racist. We are “oppressing” someone, when we tell them what they said is hurtful.

-We are also told that we are playing “the race card” in the most obviously racist situations, but it’s okay totally okay for otherssssss to play the “Denial card” to completely invalidate our experience as a black person.

-To name our kids whatever the hell we want. Yes, some names are absolutely ridiculous to SOME of us, but when we have to carefully consider a racially ambiguous name, just so our children can be called in for an interview for a job, there’s a problem.

-Also, the freedom to NOT see that look of disappointment/disapproval, to see that you’re actually a black person and not white like they expected.

- The freedom to spend our hard earned money the way we please, like EVERYONE else. It seems like the moment we want to have fun with our money, it’s a problem as if we are the only ones spending money frivolously. Have you seen those lines for the iPhone?

- The freedom to NOT have to consider straightening your hair for a job interview, simply because the texture of your hair, may not fit the “image” of the company you are applying for.

- And let’s not forget, the freedom to talk about Black anything, because for some people, black ANYTHING makes them feel uncomfortable.

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Here’s a few things you couldn’t do as a black person, a little less than a century ago

- You weren’t allowed to walk on the same sidewalk as a white person. Especially a white woman. If a bunch of black males were coming down the same sidewalk, they were to step into the street and walk in a single file line as “respect” to her.


-You weren’t allowed to attend the same schools


- You weren’t allowed a decent education. They often gave outdated, used/damaged books to the blacks schools


- You weren’t allowed to look a white person in the eye


- Your name was “boy” and not your actual name.


- You as a black woman, were allowed to be raped by a white male– too bad tough titty, no justice for you. Because black women, like today are seen as hyper sexual beings and HAD TO HAVE seduced you into raping them.


-Dude, black people weren’t even allowed to testify against white people.


- You couldn’t have your own business, lest it be burned down. (This is why we don’t have business legacies for the most part.) The “pull your bootstraps up” bit, people like to parrot, is a bunch of bullshit folks.


- You wouldn’t dare be educated, or you were seen as an uppity nigger. Then you were hanged.


-If you wanted to be able to defend yourself, you were a danger to society. Hanged.


-And lastly, well you couldn’t walk around minding your own business being black, because somebody might get bored and decided to randomly lynch, just cause.


There were many people that helped get us SOME freedom and we ought to be thankful for leaders like #MLK and never take for granted what our ancestors went through for us. Even though, some of the things on this list STILL happen today, it’s up to us, to continue to fight systematic racism.

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Food Review: Bareburger January 11, 2014

Bareburger Austin Street


Ever since I’ve started working out, I give myself ONE cheat day a week. That cheat day is when I go over Brad’s house and we eat out/order in. We have our usual places, but this time, we decided to try something different. After scouring the list of places that deliver, Brad chose Bareburger. What was special about Bareburger is that they offer some  ”exotic meats” on their menu like Ostrich, wild boar, elk and bison, along with the regulars chicken, beef and a couple of vegetarian options in organic form. I’d always wanted to try Ostrich, but something in me said to try the buttermilk chicken sandwich and a milkshake and Brad ordered a burger and some fries for the both of us.  I will say, I took it as a good sign that,  Bareburger called ahead of time to make sure that they had our correct address and when the food finally arrived, I saw that everything was in a container made of recycled paper– IMPRESSIVE.

Unfortunately, that’s pretty much where the smooth ride ended.

Bareburger Fries

The moment I opened my fries, I expected them to be more crunchy– they were not. In fact, they were so greasy and limp,  Brad said, “I’ve had crispier fries at McDonald’s”. Yeah that bad. However,  Bareburger had this MAGNIFI-TASTIC  habanero chipotle mayo sauce that I dipped the fries in and made them taste really delicious. I didn’t eat all of my fries, but I ate more than what I would have without that ridiculously delicious sauce. The portion of fries was pretty huge, so I will give them credit for that, but I just wish the fries were less greasy and more crisp. I wouldn’t have felt like I was eating food from the school cafeteria.


Bareburger Buttermilk Chicken Sandwich and Beef Burger

For BOTH sandwiches– the bacon was under cooked. Not one slice was crispy like how bacon is supposed to be. I wanted to hear the crunch of the bacon when I bit in, however, it  had the consistency of deli meat. Don’t get me wrong, I love some good deli meat, but there’s a time in a place and that time and place is when I actually order some deli meat, not when I order a fancy sounding fried chicken sandwich.  Both of our meats weren’t seasoned well, IF AT ALL.  Just BLAND. BLAND, BLAND, BLAND.  My chicken was burnt and I poured on a different sauce (not the french fry dip), resembling BBQ sauce that Bareburger sent us to try and salvage what respect I might possibly have left for this sandwich. I bit into it and it was like someone literally made BUTT SAUCE. Sauce that taste like butt (I later found out that it’s curry ketchup sauce but it’ll forever be known as butt sauce in my books).  I had to force myself to eat what I could, because I felt bad that money was spent on this lackluster meal. Brad didn’t finish his sandwich either and he LOVES beef, so if he doesn’t finish your burger, then you have a serious problem on your hands.


The Bareburger Milkshake

If I had invented this milkshake, I am 150% sure that it really WOULD bring all the boys to the yard. It was AMAZINGGGGG! Words could not express how tasty and perfectly thick this milkshake was  and it was plain vanilla. It was so good that I had to offer a taste to Brad because it was too good to NOT share the joy that is a Bareburger Milkshake. It’s disappointing when a milkshake is the highlight of your meal.

Oh yeah, and on top of that, these fuckers didn’t give us any eating utensils! May I have a fork for my fries? If not, may I at least have a straw for my milkshake? GOT DAMN!


Overall: if you want a milkshake that will make your soul float out from your body– Bareburger is that place. I won’t bother trying the exotic meats, since well…. if you can’t cook chicken and a burger correctly, I doubt very seriously, that you know how to handle ostrich and elk, which I hear can turn tough pretty quickly if you’re not careful


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A mental rant on Ani DiFranco’s Righteous Retreat faux-pology December 30, 2013

Ani DiFranco Righteous Retreat

Ani DiFranco Righteous Retreat


I just wanted to share some thoughts on Ani DiFrano’s  ”Righteous Retreat“. I would have loved to link the Facebook event, but Ani or Ani’s team completely erased the event after her page literally exploded following a few white people making a “stink” about it. I mention the race of the writers because, for a couple of weeks, black people had several concerns that were voiced on Ani Difranco’s FB page and almost no fucks were given, until white feminists who happen to be writers got the typing and tweeting– THEN and only then did Ani DiFranco decide to utilize her brain cells and address the situation. HOWEVER, when addressed, she did not apologize; White Tears of martyrdom flowed and Ms DiFranco issued a faux-pology — a fake apology in which, no sorry was given, explained her intentions (which we already knew but who really gives a fuck about your intentions, when you caused so much damage), waggled her finger at the responses from PoCs and their allies and then tried to put a guilt trip on folk, talking about (paraphrased) “Now that I’ve canceled the event, all that money won’t go to the children!”

Here’s some main points of her faux-pology in all it’s white privileged glory (full faux-pology here ) :

later, when i found out it was to be held at a resort on a former plantation, I thought to myself, “whoa”, but i did not imagine or understand that the setting of a plantation would trigger such collective outrage or result in so much high velocity bitterness.

STOP.  So what you’re saying is, that after being told that the “retreat” was to be held on a plantation and it made you say “Whoa” as a white woman, you didn’t think that it would drudge up some questions and concerns from black women? Had you have not erased the page in cowardice, you would have seen that there was NO HATRED whatsoever on your page, people only wanted you to change the location of the event, because who really should be singing and kumbaya-ing over land that so many men, women and children that have raped, tortured and killed?  Bitterness? So People of Color voicing their concern about the location of your event as well as your team’s silence about said concerns is high velocity bitterness? Nice gaslighting technique.


i believe that people must go to those places with awareness and with compassionate energy and meditate on what has happened and absorb some of the reverberating pain with their attention and their awareness.

Meditate on what though? What you’re charging tickets for (starting at $1,000), is something that could easily be learned by googling, going to a library, YouTube-ing, buying books off of Amazon (which is what should be done ANYWAY)! People should be educating themselves! What the fuck are you absorbing? Something else that your ancestors didn’t go through? How are you relating? Who the hell are you to open this discussion? Who the fuck has a retreat on a plantation? Especially one that calls itself a resort?


i know that the pain of slavery is real and runs very deep and wide. however, in this incident i think is very unfortunate what many have chosen to do with that pain.

Translation: I know it’s painful, but ya’ll are being overly dramatic and not seeing what I was trying to do. Can’t you see what work I was trying to do? I’m a good white woman. We see what you were trying to do, but you were doing it WRONG. But instead of apologizing, you decide to tell us what to do with our feelings. You know what I think is very unfortunate? That you have fans that say things like “People are still bitching about slavery?”  on your page.  I’m willing to bet that the majority of people going to this “Righteous Retreat” are on the same lines of that type of thought pattern.


as to the matter of the current owner of the resort and his political leanings, that was brought to my attention yesterday and it does disturb me. but it also begs further questions: who are all the owners of all the venues i or any other musician play?

That could be researched by your team and you can pick and choose where to play. Just as easy as it was to find the owner of your resort funds, anti-gay groups and such, I’m sure your team can research where you play… that is of course if you really freaking care. Who cares about any other musician? We are talking about YOU and your mistake. You are in the spotlight, so take responsibility.


the performing arts centers? the theaters? the night clubs? i bet there are a lot of rich white dudes with conservative political leanings on the list. is it possible to separate the positive from the negative people in this world? will those lines be clear and discernible with enough research? is it my job to do this for every gig? is it possible to ensure that no ‘bad’ person will ever profit in any way from my existence or my work?

All this deflection of responsibility is sickening.


again, maybe we should indeed have drawn a line in this case and said nottoway plantation is not a good place to go; maybe we should have vetted the place more thoroughly. but should hatred be spit at me over that mistake? 

Again, WHAT HATRED? Nobody threatened you. Nobody said the event should be burned down. Black people asked questions for weeks and asked for answers and your team ignored it, but now that it’s caught some traction, now it’s hatred? Sounds like you’re more upset about you receiving enough bad publicity that you had to cancel the event.


 i also planned to take the whole group on a field trip to Roots of Music, a free music school for underprivileged kids in New Orleans. Roots of Music is located at the Cabildo, a building in the French Quarter which was the seat of the former slaveholder government where all the laws of the slave state were first written and enacted. i believe that the existence of Roots of Music in this building is transcendent and it would have been a very inspiring place to visit. i also believe that Roots could have gained a few new supporters. in short, i think many positive and life-affirming connections would have been made at this conference, in its all of its complexity of design. 

What’s your point? That the supporters wouldn’t have donated and connections wouldn’t have been made if  you guys weren’t staying on a plantation?
ALL we asked was for a simple re-location of the event, so black/PoC feminists wouldn’t feel some type of way, never mind the fact that you’re charging up the WAHZOO for this “soul searching”, “Righteous Retreat” (which seems very self-righteous by the way), but instead, you chose to be extra salty about the responses and people ruining your “good intentions”, deleted the whole event, which voiced legit concerns and you have the nerve to say someone else has high velocity bitterness? All this chatter about how good of a person you are and you can’t even say YOU’RE SORRY?



EDIT:  Here is the original post Ani DiFranco had for “Righteous Retreat”. Note how no where in this message does it even address the “organic” discussion she planned to have about slavery.


Allow me to invite you down to Louisiana to learn and play with me and some of my friends,
exploring these and a few more of our favorite things!

We will be shacked up at the historic Nottoway Plantation and Resort in White Castle, LA, for 3 days and 4 nights exchanging ideas, making music, and otherwise getting suntans in the light of each other’s company. During the day, myself, Toshi Reagon, Buddy Wakefield, Hamell on Trial and others will lead workshops and lessons that focus on developing one’s singular creativity. In the evenings we will perform for each other and enjoy great food in a captivating setting.

We will arrive on Wednesday afternoon and that evening there will be a cocktail reception and an intimate performance by yours truly. Thursday, Friday and Saturday there will be seminars and jams with a show each evening by one of our illustrious artists/faculty. We will also have a collective outing to New Orleans so I can introduce you to my new hometown and some of the extraordinary things I’ve found there.

Bring your guitar, your journal, your kazoo or just your curiosity and come join us for some mind expanding fun! We have room in the circle for everyone.”



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Waist training takes dedication December 29, 2013

50s photo
Corsets and More

Picture courtesy of Corsets and More



And I have problems with consistency, that I’m hoping to fix. It’s day 3 of my corset/waist training and it went from hell to slightly better than hell. For those of you wondering what waist training (also known as tightlacing)  is :


“Tightlacing is the practice of wearing a tightly-laced corset to achieve extreme modifications to the figure and posture and experience the sensations of a very tight corset. Those who practice tightlacing are called tightlacers. Some tightlacers call the corsets they wear training corsets.”


So basically, I’m training my waist for a certain look and in my case a dramatic conical hourglass similar to the look of the 50s :

50s photo

Waist training is not for the impatient and guess what? I’M IMPATIENT! However, this time I’m going to push through it. If you’re wondering, I purchased my training corset from Meschantes and mine has lasted for about 3 or so years (but I used it here and there). I’ve already lost half an inch off of my waist and I’ll be posting progress pics very soon as my waist shrinks further. Right now, I’m sitting at my desk, all proud of myself because I didn’t pig out on my breakfast, but, that’s mostly because my corset gives me stern pinch when I’m about to be full and it doesn’t feel nice AT ALL. I put the fork down, shed a tear and wrap it up for later on in the day. How do I know when it’s okay to eat again?  When,  my corset isn’t pinching me anymore.  And right now, it’s about that time.



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